Three ways to help your teen grow the sociability skills employers want
When we asked our employer panel recently about the skills they look for in their young workers, both Travis Field from Fantail & Turtle, and Hamish Wilson from Deloitte were very clear that first and foremost they are not looking for the highest marks from school or university. Rather, they focus their attention on a range of personal skills that indicate whether the young person would work well with colleagues and customers, be willing to try new things, learn and grow, and eventually be a great contributor at work.
So what are these critical personal skills? Both Travis and Hamish agreed that having sociability skills is key to most jobs, and young people who can demonstrate this when they first meet a potential employer will stand out from the crowd.
A lot of readers might be thinking, “Hey, that’s tough, young people are typically awkward and shy. Is it fair to expect that?”
Hamish and Travis think so, and both agree that it’s not about expecting all young workers to be extroverts, but they are looking for potential employees who will be able to relate to their colleagues and customers.
How employers assess sociability skills
So, how does an employer assess sociability skills when meeting someone for the first time? Travis has hired 1000’s of teens into the NZ Army and his hospitality businesses, and he looks for teens who are proactive about putting themselves forward for the job, i.e. they actually turn up with their CV and ask for a job. He also looks out for teens who have been, or are active in sports, clubs, organisations, volunteer or service work as an indicator that the young person is socially interactive.
Any interviewer will be impressed with interviewees who are curious during the conversation. This is all about asking questions, (pre-prepared is all-good!), listening well, being curious about the job, organisation, what happens at work day to day.
Three practical ways to help your teen grow their sociability skills
Being able to talk to a couple of personal skills is also a bonus. Travis knows that’s a tall order for many kids, so suggests parents can help by naming the strengths they observe in their teen and/or asking them “what would your best friend say is one of your greatest strengths?” It might be that Jo always checks in with friends when they are sad. Or Matt is the one to make people laugh. Or Flynn is the one to organise the group to do stuff. Parents can help their kids to decode these strengths into skills: high empathy and caring, social and friendly, organised, prepared, with leadership skills.
Justine Lamont, from Good to Great Parenting agrees that parents can do a lot to help their children develop sociability skills, and points out that given our teens develop at different rates, it’s important to “start where you are” and go from there. A good place to start is creating opportunities for young people to practice their social skills so they eventually feel comfortable in a variety of social situations. Parents might host a social activity and observe how their teens go. Notice little gestures that show they are tuned into what is happening around them. Are they picking up on non-verbal cues? Interacting with aunty, the neighbours? Filling up empty water glasses? Maintaining eye contact when they are talking to someone? Giving them feedback when they are doing small things well will sink in, even if it doesn’t seem to. (You might have to text the feedback!!). Over a period of time you are helping to create micro moments of connection, which over time will have a positive impact, and they will be more able to move effortlessly through different social situations and environments.
Talking to strangers is a bit of a stumbling block for many, so Justine suggests helping kids to feel confident with simple interactions and building from there. Examples might be buying the milk at the dairy, building up to ordering the meal for the family at a restaurant, and even calling a help-line to get the internet fixed!
Justine challenges us to think about what sociability skills we are modelling as parents. Do we put our phones down when listening to our kids? Hmmmm, food for thought.
Next week we will be looking at why resilience is a super power for young workers to have.
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