Tiare Kelly, session musician and Benee’s guitarist

I played my first gig at Galetos when I was 13. Our band was Daddy and the Dames. It was me, this girl who was 18 and her dad who was 50. It was pretty crazy. 

I picked up the sitar when I was 14. I learned from Basant Madhur and even went to India with him and played at his village. It’s a whole other world completely to western instruments. It's written in a different language, the music is in a different language, even how you sit with your instrument is super important. It's essentially prayer so it's very sacred. My family came to one of the first shows I played at a temple and they were like “woohoo” shouting for me. Everyone scolded them so bad because it's like meditation for them.

I went to Wellington and studied a Bachelor of Commercial Music. At the time I chose my degree I’d started playing with Benee and I guess I wanted to learn about a different avenue of music than just playing because I was doing that straight out of school. Starting my working life has been scary. I was a bit lost for about three months after university. Once you finish uni you’re out of the structure and on your own feet. I was having an existential crisis every other day. It's ridiculous and completely irrational but for some reason I felt like I was running out of time. I was obsessing on “I need to get my shit together. What am I going to do for a career, for a job, what’s the right first step to make?” Then I got through that and realised it doesn’t actually matter. Just do what I can and what I like doing.  

I love being Benee’s guitarist. It's been an out of this world, crazy experience. I love that I have the luxury to play my instrument for a job. But mostly it's because we’re all really good friends, so getting to play and travel with your buddies is really, really cool. I think she’s incredible and I’m privileged to be able to play her music. 

Sometimes I collaborate with her but professionally speaking, I’m a session musician so we get given the music that she’s been making with her producer. I’m not really about being in the limelight. It’s all about Benee. My job is to compliment her and I’m very content doing that.

I’ve also recently started an internship learning how to put on big scale shows and all the nuts and bolts that go with that. It's actually a lot more complicated than people think! I’m really grateful for the experience I’m getting.

Creativity is massively important to me.  It took me a while to realise that. My Mum has brought me up business oriented so I had this idea for a while that I have to get my business hat on and make my own business. But it was so wrong. It doesn’t stimulate me in the right way. I need to be challenged creatively.

Ultimately I’d love to write film scores. I met this amazing composer, Arli. I went to his studio and asked him heaps of questions but I told him that I don’t think I’m good enough. We had this massive conversation that we need more women in the industry. He thinks women and music are so compatible because both are nurturing. He said “if you think you can’t then you won’t, but you totally can do it.”

It's so easy to doubt when you’re creating stuff because there is so much competition. You think “I can’t do that, I’m not good enough. I can’t possibly compare to everyone else already doing it.” But it’s not real because everyone already doing it started somewhere.

If I could go back in time I’d tell my 18 year old self to be more confident. There are a lot of men in your industry. Don’t buy the weird, conditioned belief you can’t do as well as them. It's a massive waste of time. We need more women to show the way for other women.

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